Eatery - Biscuit Bitch at Caffe Lieto (WA)

1909 1st Ave, Seattle, WA 98101 (Neighborhood: Downtown)
Pricing - $/$$ | Dining - Casual, To-Go | Cuisine - Breakfast/Brunch, Southern
www.biscuitbitch.com

On our way to Pike Place Market in Seattle, I knew we needed breakfast and landed my eyes on a bold place called "Biscuit Bitch." Sounds edgy enough, and I sure can't say no to good biscuits. Give me your crudeness but follow it up with something delicious please! They certainly delivered on it, and we came away from the experience knowing we'd be back the next time we were in town. Established with the intent of making everyone feel at home (we all know that area of Seattle is a total tourist trap), Biscuit Bitch kept to their promise and we did not feel like we didn't belong. It was great and the food...the food was bitchin'.

"All of our meat products are unicorn friendly."

FIRST, I have to make note that looking for an awning proudly emblazoned with the words "Biscuit Bitch" will not prove fruitful for you. They still serve under the mellower guise of "Caffe Lieto" but the cover does not tell the story inside. Chalkboard menus, stickers, and framed local photographs line the walls of the space serving up Southern-style breakfast beasts and killer coffee. It's practically kitsch and you can't feel uncomfortable saying "bitch" here because that's what they call their dishes. The line was easily out the door when we arrived, and it stayed that way for hours - they've got the word out for sure. Choose from their Southern-styled sides to take next to whatever way you want your biscuits (sandwich, in gravy, etc) or just bring home some freshly baked biscuits for $10 (half dozen) or $18 (full dozen). Gluten-free? Sure, there is a version too but I really admired that they indicated they are not a gluten-free bakery. So actual people with actual celiac disease, you can avoid this spot.


The ordering began in the back where I had to repeatedly say "bitch" for my food and then wait for the order to be called out. You move along the counter space before getting to the front where a tempting large list of coffees and teas awaits. "Would you like anything else?" feels like a loaded question because how do you say no? I caved and asked for their Seattle Fog (Earl Grey, vanilla, soymilk, & orange zest) which was made in front of me quickly and with care. It had the right amount of zest to perk up an Earl Grey so my thumbs up for this one!


For actual food, we went with the Canadian Bitch ($5.40 - biscuit, maple peanut butter, bacon, and "eh?") and their highlighted Hot Mess Bitch ($10.80 - biscuits, gravy, eggs, and garlic grits smothered in cheese, grilled Louisiana hot link sausage and jalapenos). Those biscuits, oh boy. They were flaky, buttery, and so, so warm. Excellently done! The Canadian erred just barely on the side of being sweet but was an overall solid sandwich, combining the maple sweetness with the peanut butter and bacon combined saltiness. With how thick the biscuit sat in my throat though from all of its buttery goodness, the peanut butter felt slathered on too thick as I had to drink something to clear my throat BUT if you like the sound of those flavors together, go for it. You can even add in a banana for a small extra charge.

The Hot Mess was definitely a hot mess - spicy sausages with jalapenos are enough to make you sweat. Then you throw in the savoriness of gravy over biscuits, and you've found yourself an excuse to keep on eating. After all, the gruel can soothe the heat right? The runny eggs bound everything together in a soppy mess, and the biscuits underneath somehow maintained their fluffiness despite the amount of wet components. I really liked how the heat could be manageable with the grits, making it easy to keep on eating. Great dish but certainly one to be shared! We really enjoyed the restaurant not just for its food but their ambiance was so inviting - go there. You won't be disappointed!

Photography by Duc Duong.